Veridian Dynamics Employee of the Month

Personalized with your name.

Certificate is 8-1/2" x 11" and is printed on acid-free paper. Shipped rolled.

Here is a transcript of what appears on the certificate:

This certificate is awarded to

Your Name Here

We like money. We like employees that make us more profitable. Someday, all employees will be replaced with robots or intelligent monkeys, but until that day we are stuck with the likes of you. Highly-paid consultants have informed us that drones, such as yourself, like to be recognized from time to time for the sacrifices they make for the company. We have seen your family, Veridian Dynamics is doing you a favor in allowing you to work here twenty hours per day. Please accept this inexpensive piece of paper and gift certificate to IHOP as our way of saying “Get back to work”.